Your questions about support a friend going through job loss answered
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What should I say to a friend who just lost their job?
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When is the right time to offer practical job search advice?
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What resources can help my friend during their job search in Singapore?
Job loss affects everyone differently depending on their unique circumstances, financial obligations, and personal challenges. We might not always know the right words to say to someone who is going through a retrenchment exercise.
In fact, it can prove tricky because most of us spend five days at work and our jobs often become a large part of our identity. For many of us, our 9-6 is also our bread and butter that supports our day-to-day expenditures, and losing that steady source of income could significantly disrupt major life plans such as buying a house or having a child.
If you have a friend or family member who has been involuntarily unemployed, it’s good to reach out to extend your support during this difficult time. Simply knowing that somebody is by their side can go a long way in helping them navigate their next steps. With meaningful connection, you can provide them with the support, resilience, and strength they need to move forward with confidence.
In lending your support, it’s also important to avoid making light of the situation or jumping straight into offering unsolicited advice that might overwhelm them. Instead, be emotionally adept and respond to the situation with sensitivity and care by offering emotional support and practical assistance when appropriate.
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The following guide will help you navigate your well-intentioned efforts with care, offering practical ways to talk to and support a friend who’s coping with job loss or retrenchment.
Supporting friends through retrenchment
1. Express empathy by offering comfort and support
Your loved one might be feeling a range of emotions — shock, embarrassment, anxiety, or all of the above. It’s important to be mindful about how you broach the conversation and give due consideration for their current standing.
The following are some dos and don’ts to take note of when engaging with them with empathy and grace:
- Empathise and listen
Don’t: Draw comparisons or make it about yourself. For example, don’t say things such as: “When I lost my job, I was actually so relieved.” Even if you’ve been in a similar situation, the weight of job loss might vary from person to person, especially if other stressors are at play. Do not pry, make assumptions, or downplay the situation.
Do: Acknowledge their feelings and hear them out, should they wish to share. Listen and pause before responding. Mirror their emotions, and reflect what they’ve shared. Perhaps you could respond to a friend who feels vexed and lost by saying something along the lines of: “I feel for you. Your anger and confusion are valid. Please give yourself some time to process this.”
If your friend does not feel comfortable opening up, respect their silence and do not try to pry on the topic any further. Instead, assure them that they can confide in you should they wish to, and suggest an alternative activity that might help them relax, such as going for a walk or scheduling a fun workout session.
- Provide support within your means
Don’t: Offer lip service or make promises you can’t keep, such as telling them that you can refer them to someone with a suitable role, or telling them that you’re sure finding a job is ‘easy’ for them. This is not the time to pin unrealistic expectations on them or undermine the pressures that they are facing.
Do: Render support in ways you are reasonably able to. Remind them that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, and that they are not alone. Even a simple “You’re going to be okay; I’m here for you” can provide them with a sense of security and strength in these trying times.
2. Offer practical advice only when they are ready to receive
You might be compelled to quickly offer practical advice when a loved one is faced with a problem. However, doing so right off the bat might unintentionally give your friend added pressure when they are already upset, burdened, or overwhelmed.
Give them some time and space for the news to settle before jumping in with constructive advice. Pick up on emotional cues to assess if they are feeling stable and level-headed before you offer any practical assistance.
Politely ask if there is anything you can do to help first by asking “What can I do to help? Do you just want a listening ear, or would you like any practical advice and support?”
Be patient if they seem hesitant to share more, as it’s normal that they may feel vulnerable and scared while navigating this life change. If this happens, gently assure them that you are there to support them when they need help.
The following are some helpful articles on CareersCompass by MyCareersFuture that could be helpful for them as they start to plan ahead:
- If they need encouragement while coping with job loss: Lost Your Job, Not Your Value: How to Rebuild after Retrenchment
- If they want perspectives from career professionals on how to plan their next step: Maximise Your Job Search: Insights from a Career Coach and Skills Ambassador
- If they’re considering a career switch and wish to find out more about their options: Job Searching? Discover Roles You Never Knew Were Right for You
These resources could provide them with detailed frameworks and mindset shifts for them to take their next steps with confidence.
3. Point them towards professional help and enhanced support
Beyond free online resources, there are established schemes and support systems in Singapore designed to assist workers who need extra guidance in career planning and development.
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SkillsFuture Jobseeker Support scheme
One valuable resource is the SkillsFuture Jobseeker Support scheme, which provides temporary financial support of up to $6,000 over six months to involuntarily unemployed individuals. The financial support provided can take some of the load off during this period, offering better reassurance during this transition phase.
To benefit from the financial component of this scheme, participants will need to take proactive steps to secure their employment and long-term career prospects. Participants will qualify for the payouts when they take key actionable steps that will ultimately benefit their personal and career development. This includes job search activities, such as attending career-related seminars or undergoing upskilling or reskilling by completing SkillsFuture courses.
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Accessible resources for workers and jobseekers
Additionally, your friend could also take advantage of accessible resources and tools designed to hone their technical and soft skills at the same time. Some of the most relevant avenues include the following:
- SkillsFuture courses: Enrolling in relevant courses can help broaden or deepen skills, and build expertise in areas of interests, expanding career opportunities and prospects.
- Career coaching: Opt in to receive personalised guidance from career coaches who are well-placed to offer personalised guidance on how to approach job search, skills development and career planning, giving informed advice on how to chart a professional path ahead.
- Volunteer Career Advisors: These are industry- or occupation-specific veterans who provide peer-level support to those going through career transitions or looking for progression.
- CareersFinder: This portal provides tailored career and upskilling recommendations, helping users identify relevant skills and plan which jobs to pursue.
When recommending these resources, it’s good to pair them with encouraging reminders that career development is an ongoing journey, and leveraging available support is a strategic way to gain clarity, confidence, and momentum in the job search.
If you have positive experiences in upskilling or reskilling yourself, this would be a good point to share your own takeaways and learnings.
A balance of emotional and practical support
Being there for someone facing job loss is a delicate balance of empathy, respect, and timing. As you navigate this sensitive period with your friend, bear in mind that patience and kindness can go a long way.
When you pair compassionate listening with practical tools such as resources and guides, you get holistic, well-rounded support that will help your friend feel more assured.
With just a little understanding and support from a trusted friend, their next steps could feel a lot less daunting with real pathways forward.
